After all, you have no idea what to expect, and no way of knowing how your body or your mind will react to such a drastic change. I was the first among my group of friends to get pregnant , and my "flagship pregnancy" wasn't intentional.
My partner was a person I was still getting to know, so parenthood wasn't even on our radar. My friends liked this new boyfriend sure, and so did I, but I wasn't convinced what we had was love. So when I started to disclose my pregnancy to those I trusted and whose opinions I valued, the reactions I received were pretty mixed. I had a friend who was incredibly surprised, but supportive because, well, they loved kids. And then I had a friend who got incredibly angry with me and asked what on earth I could possibly be thinking, as if I had somehow transformed into another person she no longer recognized.
Eventually, my friend came around and did her best to be supportive, but the damage was done. I noticed my friends slowly pull away from me as time, and my pregnancy, went on. They invited me out occasionally, sure, but I could rarely join them so, eventually, the invitations slowly stopped coming. What can I say? I didn't receive as many "just because" messages, either, and the space between myself and my support system only seemed to grow.
My parents were thrilled to become grandparents again, so they couldn't comprehend the fact that I might have mixed feelings about my pregnancy and my decision to become a paren. If I tried to mention my anxiety, and even my depression , during my pregnancy, but they simply shrugged it off. All they could say was that I needed to rest, but all I wanted was to feel less alone. My then-boyfriend now-husband grew more and more busy with work, too, and our initial whirlwind courtship started to settle.
To add insult to injury, around the same time I lost my job. One minute I could rely on seeing my coworkers — and even my partner, since we worked in the same office — and the next minute I was at home and alone with my often relentless thoughts.
My partner's cat kept me company, sure, but if you know anything about cats then you know they're not the best at comforting their humans. Nothing tests a relationship like raising a child together for the very first time. He is likely feeling the same. It might also help him to know that you miss him too in a time when all focus is on the baby. When you find time and energy for each other be vocal about how it feels and what you need.
If you are a single parent, discuss issues with other new parents or family members. Things definitely do change after you have kids. You do have to be intentional about making time for yourself.
Pick your favorite movie , or order take-out after the kids are in bed, or even just play a random video game. Give yourself a break you deserve it. It is hard work taking care of a baby. You will be fine. After a certain point, the baby inside you can actually hear things and should start kicking by then. This is the perfect time to spend some quality time with the baby. Since the baby can hear, in fact, it is possible to develop a connection that early.
Research suggests that singing during pregnancy can improve both your pregnancy blues and the brain development of your baby. Start by simply singing songs for the baby in the womb. In some cases, if the baby likes what it hears, it may start kicking. The amount of joy you get when your baby first starts kicking is enormous, and it will guarantee you to feel happy and excited. Some mothers even go to the length of actually talking to their baby as if it is actually there.
Do something you love to do. It is a very effective way to help relieve your loneliness and depression during pregnancy.
You can even go the extra mile and invite friends to do hobbies with you. The best way to keep your mind busy and distracted from any negative thoughts is by indulging in hobbies. Just make sure that your hobbies are safe for you and your baby. Embrace the fact that you are pregnant. You can show excitement through little celebrations. The most obvious one is having a baby shower.
Get all your friends together and have a fun baby shower with delicious snacks and lots of presents. Throwing a party just for you and your baby is sure to bring your spirits up and help you enjoy your pregnancy a bit more.
You feel out of control. Your partner is not as focused on the baby as you are so you feel isolated in your excitement. You know you are supposed to be happy and feel guilty about feeling like this. It can feel hard to understand who you are.
Being at home all the time feels remote and strange. Responsibility - You feel overwhelmed with the responsibility for the baby you are carrying or looking after and it feels like a huge burden resting on your shoulders.
The nighttime feeds are taking their toll but there is you know you're the only one that can do it. Your family all think you need to rest so are trying to leave you in peace. Your body is changing in ways no one else can understand unless they are also pregnant.
There are so many reasons why women feel lonely at this time but it's a conundrum that we mothers are never prepared for. No one tells you that you might feel this way… Although these feelings are often normal, they may be signs of prenatal depression. Open up to someone you trust - Loneliness can create an invisible wall between yourself and others but by talking to someone you will break down that wall.
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